That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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