I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
