Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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