Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
