There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
