Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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