Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
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The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
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I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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