no, he came in my armpit
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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