no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
