I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
