lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
