sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
