Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
