Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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