did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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