Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
