i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
