You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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