I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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