How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
