you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
