is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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