he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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