Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
