Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
