Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
