dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize