70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
