You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
