We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
