I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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