Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just sent this text using only my big toe
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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