I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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