Its about making memories worth repressing
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
