Christians are straight up FREAKS
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
