just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
