You just made me feel so damn special
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
