Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
