Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
