I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
