May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
