I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
