This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
