i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Enjoy the penises
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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