I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
