Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
