so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
