By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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