if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
