I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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