The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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