Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize