I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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