Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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