it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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