My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
