Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
