Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
