who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
