YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
