she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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