id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize