Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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