On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
