I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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