am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
